everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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