We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
