I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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