Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
