she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
