How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize