I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
