Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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