Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
