doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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