Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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