Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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