Please, let me fuck your mom
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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