I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
