Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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