The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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