i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
