She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if only i could text you this smell
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
