Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize