She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
