have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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