i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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