She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
