Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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