i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
