Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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