i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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