btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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