Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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