I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
