I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
