I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I will be naked everywhere
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They are going to name an STD after you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize