Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
