Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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