I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
