I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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