but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
