You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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