If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The uberlube is also flammable
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
