worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
