Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
