i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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