eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
