real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
