was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
