they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
