too bad you live with your parents still
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
