went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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