My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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