apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
