A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
