Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
