Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
