The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
