So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
