And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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