Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
