We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
