Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
