So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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